Gin & Tonic

2:00AM Gin & Tonic
The flavor lingering in my mouth like the last time I was kissed. I mean really kissed. Some men taste so delicious.

Gin & Tonic
Tastes like foreplay. And shared laughter. Tastes like holding hands and a wink from far across the room. Tastes like a brilliant mind. And a gorgeous smile. And contagious laughter. Refreshing, like a man who knows how to heat me up. I miss that part of life.

Gin & Tonic
On his tongue and mine. Naked bodies. No longer thinking. Moving through a buffet of wet sex and passionate love.

Gin & Tonic
Fresh citrus on my tongue. Grapefruit spray lingers in the air. Saturday mornings. Scones and coffee. Now I mourn that part of life, and that wide-alive part of me.

Gin & Tonic
Tastes like lies and broken promises. Hidden messages on a phone. Inappropriate texting. Tastes like lousy fucking cheating. Tastes like crushing disappointment. And shock.

Gin & Tonic, down the wrong pipe. Burning and choking on disbelief. Why can’t I just die? But this is the day we are given. And a new partner is nowhere in sight. That last one, said good-bye and cried. More tears than a baby, as his mommy leaves for work. Wait! I wish I’d shouted. Come back here and teach me how to un-love you. What do you mean you will always love me? And stop crying. Stop it! You’ve done this your whole life. Teach me. Teach me how to un-love.

3:00am Sipping Port
Its syrupy flavor coats the bitter taste of broken love. The perfectly cut-crystal glasses bounce daggers of light between us. We’re on the front porch. He’s still crying. I need some fucking sleep.

Bring me a polished wooden treasure box, with inlaid cabochon jewels on the lid. Opals, Turquoise and Tiger-eye. Line it in silky white satin. A soft and sacred space to hold my broken heart.

Put me back the way you found me. Everything cute and funny and sexy and smart. Intact. Restore my original settings. Give me back my self. My confidence, my power. You stripped me bare with your boyish charm.  I was all-in.

Gin & Tonic
The aftertaste of old love. Memories. Sorrow. Crushed dreams on crushed ice. New dreams only come when you sleep.

This is the day we are given.
Please don’t let me slip away.