Last Song I Sing

JUNE 29, 2020

SONG kiss the sky.jpeg

The last song I sing
Will be a Song of Gratitude
Not a song of Bitter Grapes
Not a song of Salty Tears
I will sing a Song of Love

The only lyrics,
The names of my children
The chorus, the names of my parents
All in the Key of Life

And when my words are not enough
Or my voice too weak to hear
I will sing my song
With paint in every color

Bold and gorgeous
Colors of sunset
Soft and intricate
Splashed onto the paper with my last breath!

Flori; the sun is shining, paint!

I will paint my Song of Love
Twenty-four years ago
I Wailed my song to God
Please God, let me raise my children!
They deserve a mother

My Song leaking out of my eyes
Every day, all day
Chemo. Cancer. O God!

I sang the song of the
Breast Cancer Warrior
With painted eyebrows
And my hand-painted silk scarf 

Six years in remission
A Song of Grace for all to hear

Then my song - dead silenced
My breath taken away as
Cancer came at me again
Recurrence!
The music changed
Beethoven’s 5th

Chemo. Cancer. God.
SURGERY!
Why me? I sang so loudly
Maybe I screamed
Why me, God? WHY?

So I changed my song to a
Song of Prayer
And I changed my name
To trick the evil spirits

And I sang my name in Hebrew
So that God could find me.
And I Sang my Hebrew Prayer
Everyday.
Please God. Please.

Surgery. Chemo. Cancer. God.
Remission.
Thank you, God,

Again, I sang out Gratitude.
I wrote and rewrote my song;
My symphony of life
I did it all!

Raised my kids
Raised a glass
Raised awareness
They walked the aisle, Graduation!
Two times each child.
I walked the aisle, a wedding, my youngest child!

I was there, I did it all.
Showed them how to be stand-up, 
and how to stand tall
Showed them how to show up
how to answer the call

Taught her to drive, him to drive a stick
Got them ready for prom
Not an easy trick
Sang Gratitude with the Chorus
Couldn’t believe my good fortune.
Everything back then seemed some kind of distortion

Healed what wounds I could
Showed them a mother who worked hard to do good
I helped them with their college apps.
And I moved them to college-
Chemo again, so many naps.

Time went on
They each found their way
Thank you, God,
What else could I say?

My last song filled with
Gratitude not tears.
I lived to see it all
Plus an extra 24-years
Everyone Dies, Last Goodbyes
My song of Love and Gratitude.

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Read if I Die