Troublemaker
APRIL 17, 2020
“You’re such a troublemaker” a new dance friend says to me as I rotate through class, my turn to dance with him again. I cannot contain my joy at being seen. Yes, I am a troublemaker! That’s my inner child coming out to play. He starts a joke, and I as rotate to the next person, I can see his inner child as well. Each time I rotate to dance with him there is a partial joke shared, and he warns me that I had better not get him in trouble. That’s an invitation I can barely resist. I try to think of ways to stir the pot without causing a ruckus. I decide to keep it to jokes for a while, I want to make friends not enemies.
Dance was fun, but my inner child was unleashed, how lucky to meet another inner child that matches mine so well, even if the man didn’t realize what was happening. I did! I knew he was very smart, he totally got my jokes, but he did seem very uptight. My playful mood escalated.
I couldn’t believe my good fortune, a room full of people who were allowing their inner children to play! Next, I rotated to a partner who tells me he’s legally blind. I laugh. He says, no I’m serious. He’s one of the better dancers there, so I ask him to tell me how to be a better follow. He says “always keep your hands available. I need to know where you are”. I tell him I don’t know what that means and right away he gives me a concrete example. Remember when you did that free turn, you had your hands down at your side, instead of in “table top” and available for me. I couldn’t find your hand to lead the next move.
Okay, I kind of understood and said, “so, I should keep my hands in my pockets or behind my back” and he said “exactly”. We both laughed. I liked this guy as well. Nice and funny and such a good dancer. And with or without 20/20 he was a caring partner. Hidden hands or not, I always feel safe.
The dance teachers also cracked a lot of jokes, the mood of the class is light and playful. It’s a gathering of inner children. In this playfulness people were learning different syncopations. I mostly struggled. I could easily feel the rhythm, I just couldn’t figure out how to move my feet.
The beginning of the lesson would be doable; a starter step, a throw out, a right-side pass, a sugar-push. But then a syncopation would be taught. A back-hitch, a rock n’ go, a reverse whip. I was lost. It was hard to keep my inner critic quiet. Hard to stay self-encouraged to just do my best. I loved to dance, but this was pure pressure and I worked hard to quiet the voice in my head.
They split the class to teach each part. Phil, our teacher, would call, “Leaders up” and it would take me a minute to remember that in dance I’m a “Follower”. The Followers would move to an adjacent area, and the more experienced would try to teach the newbies.
Finally, it was “Followers Up” and Phil and his partner Mindia would demonstrate the syncopation, pointing out places to relax arms, how to change weight and they showed us how it looked when put to the music.
Next, they called everyone back to class; music was started and we were supposed to practice the newly learned syncopation. Every minute or two we changed partners, so we were all able to dance with many different partners in hopes of learning this new styling move.
As the end of the hour class approached, my inner child got tired and cranky. Finally, class was over and social dancing about to begin. Social dancers began pouring in, the bar was filling up and the DJ booth started the music. I was not ready to stay and social dance. Maybe once I had mastered the beginners class and my confidence grew but certainly not anytime soon.
I changed back to my street shoes, washed up and got out my hand-held mace for the short walk to my car. My inner child was asleep for the night, and grown-up Flori was back in charge.
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