Countdown

AUGUST 13, 2020

TIME
I’m on the countdown
to the end of my life.

Hey! don’t sad-face-crying-emoji-me
you fucks

You are on the
Exact
Same
Countdown

The difference;
my countdown is LOUD
Messy
Full of grief
FEAR and vulnerability

TIME
I see it
I wear it
I feel it
I eat it
I breathe it
I drink it

I love it and hate it
And whatever it is - I Need More

You & you & you
all try to hide the time you have

You diet and dye it
And lift it and tuck it
You Botox, you fill
Shots or a pill
You whiten you brighten
but mostly you frighten
You falsify eyelashes and fortify nails
Hiding time passed however you can.

How do you expect to be awarded more time
when you clearly show The Universe
how uncomfortable you are
with the time you’ve had?

And shameful!
Your reluctance to SEE me
naked and raw

“Wow, you sound so great!”
THAT is the same as telling Stevie Wonder he doesn’t sound blind.

How I sound and how I feel
are two entirely different categories.

SOUND!
Noise
Laughter
A baby cries
A bomb goes off,
people are shattered,

Corks pop
New Year’s Eve
Celebration

Laughter
Joy
Music

Sobbing
Sobbing
I can’t breathe
I. Can’t. Breathe.
Help!
Help help me
Help me please!

I am dying
Something is profoundly wrong inside of me

Oh...on film I look good
says radiology
Breast cancer activity
slow and low

(Ooooo on film, I look good).
Once I’m dead,
cancer activity
none
I will finally be cured!

FEELINGS
Something is profoundly wrong inside of me
I don’t feel good
Hear that
Hear me

SOUNDS
Tick-tock
Life clock

WORDS
I’m on the countdown
to the end of my life

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