Toothache

Toothache 
Heartache
Dumb Mistake
Or Stomach-ache?

I’m a whole woman
Hard to pin point
One prickly pain from the rest of me.

Hot/cold sensitivity
And what about this tooth?
Yes, it hurts.  
And what about that tooth?
Yes, it hurts, too.

Bite down. 
Does this hurt?
No, I can still bite.
And believe me, I will.

When did the pain start?
On October 12, 1994
When my mother died suddenly.
It got really bad as they lowered her into the ground.

My heart absorbed that pain,
Integrated the tooth-throbbing, the pulse-racing
Right into my own bloodstream.
I had my mom inside
with every beat of my heart
She was there.

The other tooth?
That pain started in 2004, 
When my father died.
It got much worse in 2005
When my marriage died.

I could not bite
I lost weight.  
The weight of a husband.

After a few years, 
I stopped having pain-
until this morning
When tooth pain woke me.
And my ear hurt
It was listening too hard to my tooth.

And then fear got involved
Worry jumped in
Root canal?
What if ONJ?
Infection?

Now my Mind was involved.
WHY does my tooth have to hurt?
WHY now? WHY me? WHY? 

I don’t have a new dentist yet.
My young, old one died. 
Shocking heart attack.
Another loss of 2020

The Endodontist - he will see me.
I am SEEN!

Hello, I am still alive Dr. O!
Yes, I was supposed to have treatment this morning.
But my tooth aches at 3:00am
And I am wide a-woke

And I’m worried.
I don’t know when it will be my turn.
Take my mask off? 
Yes.  When will it be my turn?
I need that vaccine.

Your blue eyes, 
talk to me from above your mask-
So kind and reassuring.
No infection, No ONJ, 
No clear sign of root canal
BUT it might be the beginning 
of a bad tooth.  

Only time will tell.  
Watch and wait.  
That describes the last 24 years.  

At least today I am seen!
You are seen, too, Dr. O.
Gratitude for your reassuring blue eyes.  
I am Watch and Wait.  
See you next week.
A new year.